


Wine of the Gods

by samsarapine



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Blanket Permission, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-14
Updated: 2010-03-14
Packaged: 2017-10-07 23:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/70595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samsarapine/pseuds/samsarapine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gojyo makes moonshine.  Goku doesn't get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wine of the Gods

**Author's Note:**

> I was bored and sitting in a hotel room. It was this or HBO. Written for Challenge #54, three scenes: toxic, bury, kiss. Time given: 1.5 hours; time taken: 1.5 hours for drafting, editing and 15 minutes of really, really sloppy research.

  
  
  
**Entry tags:** |   
[author:samsarapine](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/tag/author:samsarapine), [challenge: 3 scenes](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/tag/challenge:%203%20scenes), [char:goku](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/tag/char:goku), [gen](http://community.livejournal.com/saiyuki_time/tag/gen)  
  
---|---  
  
_**Challenge #54: Wine of the Gods, gen, PG-13**_  
**Title:** Wine of the Gods  
**Author:** [](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/profile)[**samsarapine**](http://samsarapine.livejournal.com/)  
**Warnings:** Some pretty bad language.  
**Pairing:** None  
**Notes:** I was bored and sitting in a hotel room. It was this or HBO. Written for Challenge #54, three scenes: toxic, bury, kiss. Time given: 1.5 hours; time taken: 1.5 hours for drafting, editing and 15 minutes of really, really sloppy research.

 

**Wine of the Gods**

 

Gojyo sprayed sake. "Holy fuckin' shit!"

"Oh! Gross! Stupid kappa!" Only Goku was there to witness the grotty act, so his comeback wasn't as loud as usual, when he had to prove to everyone that he could stand up for himself.

"That shit's toxic." Gojyo wiped his mouth, opening and closing it like a fish, his nose wrinkled.

"Ha ha! Fish-kappa!"

"Where the fuck did that come from, you stupid monkey?"

"You look like a fish! Like this," and Goku proceeded to show Gojyo.

"That's just gross. And so is this shitty sake." Gojyo looked at the small bottle in disgust. "I could brew better shit than this."

Goku was torn between making more fun of Gojyo and asking what he meant. Curiosity won out. "How do you do that?"

Gojyo frowned at him, but then his eyes went all funny and far-away before they lit with the unholy glow that Goku had learned to associate with Really Bad Ideas.

Goku grinned. Whatever it was, he was all for it.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Gojyo frowned, his nose buried in a book. He'd been reading a long time, and Goku was bored.

"Hey, you dumb kappa. Tryin' to get smart?" Goku was pretty pleased with the clever insult.

"Shut up," Gojyo muttered. Jeep hit a big bump and he cursed. "Can't read with the fucking car bumpin' like this."

"Whatcha readin'?"

Gojyo glanced at the front seats, so Goku did, too. Sanzo looked like he was sleeping and Hakkai had that sorta spacey look he got when he'd been driving too long. Maybe it was time for Goku to call a food stop. He opened his mouth to announce that he was hungry, only to find it covered by Gojyo.

"Shhh." Gojyo gestured with his head towards Hakkai. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him. I'm reading about how to make homemade wine."

Goku was impressed. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. Look, tonight you wanna help me look for fruit an' shit to use for it?"

Ha! Bargaining time. "What do I get outta it?"

Gojyo thought a minute. "Tell you what. You help me make the wine, and I'll let you drink some."

"Whoa!" Goku looked furtively at the front seat, but Sanzo was still asleep.

"You on board?"

Goku grinned and gestured with his head towards Sanzo. "What he don't know he can't kill us for."

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

It had only been two weeks, but Gojyo was impatient to try the results of their work.

Goku knew it, because Gojyo didn't bitch when Sanzo looked at them while Hakkai was signing the hotel register and said, "I don't want to see either of your sorry-ass faces again until tomorrow. If you're not up and ready to go by six, I'm leaving you behind."

He and Hakkai went up the stairs. Goku turned to Gojyo, who lifted a corner of his pack to show Goku the bottle nestled inside. Goku grinned.

They quickly found their room and stashed their stuff.

"We gotta be quiet," Gojyo said. "Hakkai and the monk are right next door." He pulled the bottle out of his bag. "It's early, but we should be able to get an idea about whether this is workin' or not. Check out the can and see if there's a toothbrush glass or somethin' in there."

"Nah, nothin'" Goku reported when he got back. He sat down heavily on the bed.

"Then we'll just hafta take turns drinkin' from the bottle. Wipe it good before you give it back to me. I don't want to taste monkey spit."

"Ew, gross. You wipe, too. I don't wanna taste kappa spit, either."

"Right. I'll take the first swig. Cheers, baby!" Gojyo kissed the bottle and raised it to his lips.

"Hey, don't drink it all!"

"Aw shit," Gojyo said, making the fish face again. "It just tastes like plums."

"Let me, let me!" Goku took the bottle from Gojyo, remembering at the last second to wipe it on his sleeve to get rid of kappa germs. He tasted it. "It's good!" He raised the bottle for some more, only to have it taken from him.

"It's not ready yet." Gojyo frowned. "Maybe we need to add some more yeast."

"Shouldn't we do what the book told us to do?"

"More yeast can't hurt, can it? I mean, at worst, we'll get plum beer out of it."

Goku was hazy about the difference between wine and beer, never having had either. "Yeah, okay."

Two weeks later, they had their chance again. Hakkai had complained about Gojyo's cigarettes the night before, so he was rooming with Sanzo.

There was no ceremony this time. Goku and Gojyo huddled over the bottle as Gojyo uncorked it.

"Whew!" Goku made a face. "That smells awful!"

"Smells like ambrosia to me," Gojyo said. He took a deep swig. "Oh, yeah, baby. That's good shit!" He blinked.

If Gojyo liked it, Goku was damned if he wasn't going to get his fair share, too. "Gimme!"

The liquid tasted like bread with really rotten plum jam on top. "Oh, gross!" he said, feeling some of it dribbling down his chin. He shoved the bottle at Gojyo and wiped his face. "That's awful!"

"Then I'll drink it all," Gojyo said. He lifted the bottle and took another swig. "Yeah, momma, that hits the spot." He looked pretty pleased with himself. "Sha Gojyo, master wine maker."

"And Son Goku." Goku frowned. Even if it tasted like shit, he didn't want the kappa to get it all. "Give it back. My turn."

"I thought you didn't like it?"

"Yeah, well," Goku thought hard for a minute. "Sanzo says that some things are an acquired taste!" he said triumphantly, vague memories of a conversation about Sanzo's smoking running through his head.

"Okay, but take it easy. You're a lightweight."

Goku drank a healthy swig. It really wasn't that bad, now that he knew what it would taste like. "What's a lightweight?" A warm feeling melted through him. He couldn't stop grinning.

"You are." Gojyo looked amused. "No more, kid. You're weaving already."

"No, I'm not." Goku tried to focus on Gojyo, but there were two of him, so it was hard to figure out which one to look at. "Hey! Let's give some to Sanzo! I bet he'd like it!"

"Shh!" Gojyo glanced at the wall. "Shut up, you stupid monkey. He's right on the other side of the wall."

The door burst open. "He's right inside your fucking room, you morons!" Sanzo snapped. He grabbed the bottle from Gojyo's hands.

"Hey, give that back you stinkin' monk!"

"Now, now," Hakkai said as he entered the room. "Did you really think we didn't know what you were doing?"

Gojyo frowned. "I thought we did pretty good at hidin' it," he muttered sullenly.

"You bought ladies stockings, idiot," Sanzo said, passing the bottle to Hakkai. "Either you were straining grapes or your pervert activities had hit a new high."

"It's plums!" Goku said, determined to set the record straight. "Plums! Not grapes!"

"How'd you find out about the stockings?"

"They were listed on the credit card receipt. Well?" he asked Hakkai, who had taken a generous mouthful of the wine.

Hakkai's eyes widened. Goku giggled. "You look like a owl!" When Hakkai blinked, he laughed even harder.

"The monkey's blotto," Sanzo said. He glared at Gojyo. "It's your fault, you fucking kappa."

"Hey, he was in on it from the start," Gojyo said angrily, then seemed to realise that what he'd said was sorta stupid; even Goku knew that. He laughed harder, then held his middle.

"Oh, I don't feel so good," he admitted, a few giggles still escaping. "My stomach hurts."

"Shit!" Sanzo grabbed him and pushed him towards the bathroom. "Get to the toilet!"

Goku didn't remember much past that, but the next morning, he woke up in his bed with all of his clothes on and a funny taste in his mouth.

Gojyo was already awake, holding his head in his hands. He looked like shit.

"Hey, what's the matter with you?" Goku asked.

Gojyo glared weakly at him. "At least have the decency to _pretend_ you have a fuckin' hangover," he said.

"I'm hungry." And he was, really hungry, for things like pot stickers and crab. "I want some moo shu pork and some eggrolls and some—"

Gojyo turned green and bolted for the bathroom.

Goku was the only one at breakfast. When he finally met the others outside, they were already in Jeep, all of them looking pretty messed up.

"Hey, where're we goin' today?" He bounded into Jeep, setting the whole car shaking.

Hakkai jumped out of his seat. "Excuse me!" He ran, holding his mouth.

''Shit!" Sanzo could move pretty fast for a guy wearing a dress and sandals.

Goku watched wide-eyed as Gojyo simply leaned over the back of Jeep and got sick.

"Yuck!"

Gojyo wiped his mouth and turned to Goku. "An' that, kid, is the price you pay for a taste of glory."

Goku thought about it. "Why do you drink, then?"

"Hell if I know at the moment," Gojyo said. "But I'm sure it'll make sense later. Now shut up, I'm gonna sleep."

"Huh. It just seemed sorta weird-tasting to me." Goku shrugged, but Gojyo was already snoring.

It really hadn't been all that bad. In fact, parts of it had been fun. Goku dug through Gojyo's backpack until he found the book again.

_Maybe next time we should use bananas,_ he thought.


End file.
